The Transaction

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“The Transaction”

By Guglielmo D’Izzia

This novel makes me want to visit Italy. This novel also makes me NOT want to visit Italy. There are numerous dichotomous images and events in this novel that leave the reader unsettled.

Our protagonist is a man by the name of De Angelis. De Angelis is tasked with visiting a small town in Sicily to broker a real estate deal. Sounds simple? Nope. Whatever could go wrong does. The trip itself is filled with catastrophe with everything from a broken down train where the passengers have to walk in the scorching heat to the nearest town, to being attacked by feral dogs. All of this happens BEFORE De Angelis meets up with the people who have hired him. Not that it matters because these people have been murdered by the mafia on their way to meeting him at the train station. Of course, this crime leads the authorities to suspect our protagonist’s arrival in their town.

On this journey, De Angelis meets with all sorts of people of questionable moral character. De Angelis often struggles with doing “what is right”.

Although at times this novel is humorous, especially in the way our protagonist views the events he experienced, I couldn’ help but feel a sense of dread while I was reading.

This isn’t a long read and it moves at a fast pace. If you like suspenseful and atmospheric novels you will enjoy this one.

Thank you Netgalley and Guernica Editions for this free copy in exchange for an honest review.

 

Flyaway

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Flyaway by Kathleen Jennings

publication date July 28 2020

Thank you Netgalley for the free ARC of Flyaway.

This is such a beautifully written book. The opening chapter vividly and poetically introduces us to the setting creating the atmosphere of a fairytale. For example “ Trees bled resin like rubies, sprouted goitrous nests, suspended cats-cradles of spiderwebs spinning disks of silk”…see, a fairytale.

Like all good fairy tales, Flyaway has a princess Bettina or “Tink” as she is referred to by those who know her best. For years Bettina has lived alone with her mother with her father and her two cruel brothers having disappeared years ago. Tink isn’t exactly sure how and when her father disappeared for that time in her history is rather fuzzy. And her mother doesn’t help her remember, in fact, her there is something odd about Bettina’s mother..she’s hiding something, some truth. 

Life has been going on rather uneventful for Betinna except for the fact she hs to paint over the word “Monsters” graffitied on the fence in their yard, or because most of the townsfolk treat her with disdain and mistrust. 

One day Betinna receives an envelope in the mail. Inside the envelope are old newspaper clippings with “Youths Run amok”, “Damage and Disturbance”, “Destruction of  Peace” which is unsettling enough but what makes the contents of this letter even more threatening is the ominously scrawled handwriting on it saying “You coward Tink”. 

Bettina knows it was one of her long lost brothers who has sent this letter so, with the help of two childhood friends, she goes in search of her brothers in order to finally find out the truth behind her father’s disappearance. 

Interspersed throughout the novel are chapters that are literally written in fairy tale form. These chapters are tale from her family’s past as well as the folklore of the community. 

This is a fairly short novel that packs a tonne of story, not in terms of plot, but rather in terms of theme and character. It deserves to be read slowly, especially the chapters written in fairy tale form. So that you can truly appreciate the style and languages used by the author. In fact, I am tempted to by this novel in hard copy so that I can share some of the beautifully poetic language with my students.  To me, toe story is written a bit like a puzzle with each chapter seeming like an individual piece on its own, but once put together displays an intriguing and elaborate picture.

 

The Night Swim

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The Night Swim by Megan Goldin
Thank you Netgalley and St. Martin’s Press for sending me a free advanced copy of The Night Swim.

This book turned out to be a good distraction during this time of quarantine. It was an easy read and didn’t require a lot of concentration…which is just the only type of book I seem to be able to read lately.
Rachel is reporter, researcher and host of the true-crime podcast “Guilty or Not Guilty” a show that “puts you in the jury box”. On her way to Neopolis, Rachel stops at a truck stop for something to eat. Upon returning to her car, she finds a note written by a young woman by the name of Hannah. In her letter, Hannah asks Rachel to help her find those responsible for her sister’s death. Coincidentally Hannah’s sister was killed in the same town as the rape trial Rachel is covering. Will Rachel be intrigued enough to take this on? Will Rachel have the time to cover two crimes?
Years ago Hannah tragically lost her sister in a “swimming accident”. Her body was found in the water under a pier. Hannah always knew her sister’s death wasn’t an accident and is now after all these years is ready to make those that are responsible pay. Hannah believes True Crime reporter and podcaster Rachel can help her find the killer(s).
Each chapter in this novel is written by alternating perspectives. There are chapters consist of letters written by Hannah that, over the course of the novel, slowly reveal clues about the night her sister was killed. There are Chapters written that follow Rachel’s actions and thoughts, and then there are chapters that are a transcript of Rachel’s podcast.
Besides being an engaging read, Goldin also takes the time to honestly deal with the topic of rape and stresses through the format of podcast transcripts the importance of following facts free of bias.
This was a quick read revolving around a timely topic. It would be a very suitable title for a book club and would offer in-depth discussion. I would also feel comfortable suggesting it as a title for high school students to read.

You can buy The Night Swim August 2020

Ella Minnow Pea

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Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn

This is a charming little story about an imaginary town called Nollop. Nollop is named after Nevin Nollop the gentleman responsible for the phrase “The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog”. In fact, there is an impressive statue of Nevin in the middle of the town square upon which this phrase is immortalized.

One day the letter z falls from the statue of Nevin Nollop and the town’s High Council is thrown into a tizzy. Because the letter z no longer exists on the statue the High Council has banned the use of the letter in all writing and correspondence. Although banishment seems somewhat foolish, communication is not severely impeded because let’s face it,  the letter z is not often used in everyday communication. Unfortunately, the letter z isn’t the only letter that falls. Soon the letter y falls and therefore is banned as well. Next, the letter J. Soon all the letters fall from the statue except l, m, n, o, and p.

The entire story is made of up postal letters between various citizens of Nollop with most of the letters being sent and received by our main character Ella. We also meet Tassie, Father Amos, Gwennette, Nate and an assortment of other characters through letters they write and receive.

As the story progresses these letters become more and more creative (and phonetic) in getting their message across. I mean, how can do you successfully communicate using only 5 letters?

However, there is a way around this catastrophe,  the High Council has proclaimed that if a citizen can create another phrase like “the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog” that is a maximum length of 32 letters and using every letter of the alphabet they will reinstate the entire alphabet. 

Can the citizens develop such a phrase? Will they be able to 

What a great idea to use in the classroom! Give them a limited amount of letters and tell them they must somehow communicate a message. Or, have them try to write a sentence using every letter of the alphabet in as few letter combinations as possible. 

This is a charming little story that is a lot of fun to read. It also inspires a number of creative activities you can use in a classroom to inspire students to muck about with words.

 

Things in Jars

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Things in Jars by Jess Kidd

I read this novel in a day. And it wasn’t because it was practising social distancing and had nowhere to go and nothing to do (ok, maybe that was a smidge of the reason). But mostly it was the kind of novel where I had to put life on hold and just get it read.

Birdie Devine is our main character, and I wish to high heaven that we will see her again soon in another story. She is brash and quirky, brave and highly intelligent. Birdy is a private detective in Victorian England. She is also a “surgeon” that treats “boils, warts, and extractions”. Birdie has been hired by a Barron to find his daughter, Christabel. The Barron, however, doesn’t offer any clues as to what Christabel looks like or the circumstances surrounding the case, making it difficult for Birdie to solve the case. Why does the Barron only offer scant information? Because his daughter is beyond peculiar. The prologue itself explains how Christabel can trap you in a memory merely by looking you in the eye. She is also creepily described as looking both like “a church angel” and “a corpse among the living”.

There is also a second mystery Birdie has to solve, and this one is my favourite of the two. Birdie is haunted by a ghost. Maybe haunted isn’t the word, rather she is accompanied by a ghost, a boxer by the name of Ruby who helps her in her sleuthing. Ruby loves Birdie and tells her that she knows him but will not tell her how she knows him. Discovering this connection is a mystery she must solve on her own.

     Things in Jars was a perfect read at the perfect time. It transported me away from the anxiety of current events to a place filled with all sorts of wonderfully odd and interesting characters. It is a story that is funny, captivating and just a wee bit gruesome, a perfect combination if you ask me!

Washington Black

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Washington Black by Esi Edugan

(warning…just a wee bit of spoilers but there is SO MUCH MORE then what I’m about to tell you!)

The action of this novel takes us to drastically different locations all over the world: Barbados, Virginia, the Arctic, Nova Scotia, London, Amsterdam, Morocco. Our main character’s name is Washington Black. Washington is eleven years old and a slave living on a sugar plantation, ironically named “Faith”, in Barbados. Brutality and violence are a part of everyday life until one day he is summoned to the Great House to serve at the table of his Master Erasmus Wilde. There he meets Erasmus’s brother Christopher. Christopher (Titch) is a scientist, naturalist, inventor, adventurer and nothing like his brother. Titch is looking for a manservant and Washington seems to be exactly what he is looking for: smart, capable, and because of his size, able to fit into a “Cloud Cutter”. 

Because of certain violent events Titch and Washington are forced to leave the island, and the only way they can do so without getting caught is by using the cloud cutter.

From Barbados, the duo makes their way to Virginia and eventually to the Arctic. Soon Washington finds his way to Nova Scotia where he meets a man and his daughter who become pivotal in helping shape Washington’s life. All the while Washington is haunted by the bounty that has been placed on his head, and the threat of being caught by slave catchers.

This is a story about adventure and self-discovery. It has the potential to be a strong piece for literary study in High School. As I was reading I kept thinking “ooh I could discuss the use of symbolism here”, and “note the vivid imagery there”. Its themes are deep and meaningful and accessible to most people. 

Washington Black has been one of my favouite books of this year. It is academic without being intimidating and well worth a re-read in the future.

The Fact of A Body

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Audiobook the Fact of a Body

Written and Narrated by Alexandria Marzano Lisnevich

I run. My choice of listening when I run consists of a dog’s breakfast of musical choices (everything from monks singing Gregorian Chants to Heavy Metal) and audiobooks. A year ago I had a wonderful season of winter running where I listened to the entire Harry Potter series narrated by Jim Dale. It was a lovely season and so wonderful to revisit Hogwarts. The latest Audiobook I’ve listened to while pounding the pavement (and sometimes breaking snow drifts) is The Fact of A Body by Alexandria Marzano Lisnevich. This is a non-fiction tale of two crimes: one the murder of a young boy by Rickey Langely and the other story about the personal trauma of sexual abuse the author experienced at the hands of her grandfather. Now, this might sound like an awkward juxtaposition of narratives but it works and is impactful. This story is a mesmerizing yet a tough listen. My heart broke for both victims. However because Alexandria herself is recounting such a personal narrative, she brings with her emotion not only word choice but also in intonation. Alexandria’s voice is filled with such sadness and resignation and at times it was difficult for me to listen. And it undoubtedly took my mind off of accumulating those kilometers.

If you’re looking for an audiobook The Fact of a Body is one of the best I’ve listened to both in story and narration.

 

What to Read During Social Distancing

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What interesting times we live in! For those of you who are looking for book titles for kiddos in junior and senior high, I’ve compiled a list of books I’ve read and recommend and a few titles I haven’t read but were recommended by various publishing houses and educational websites. Weblinks for more information concerning each included. Just click on the title!  Enjoy!

Books I’ve read

  1. “Dumplin’” by Julie Murphy.   LOVE this novel! A great story about a plump high school girl with THE most positive body image.  Love Willowdean’s voice. She’s funny and smart and a warrior princess at heart. There is a follow-up novel “Puddin’ that I haven’t read. (jr/sr high)
  2. “Sorcerer and the Crown” by Zen Cho. Who doesn’t like magic and British folklore? Another book with a strong young female character who, although is not our protagonist, is one of my favourite characters that I’ve met this year.(jr/sr high)
  3. “The Nest” by Kenneth Oppel. I’d describe this as a “supernatural allegory”. Creepy but beautiful at the same time. A story about the love of family told from the perspective of a young boy.(jr high)
  4. “Belzhar” by Meg Wolitzer Literary summer school for troubled youth where the author for discussion is Sylvia Plath.  A book that possesses enchanted journals as a plot device.(jr/sr high)
  5. The “Unwind” series by Neal Shusterman series…all four of them. You want to generate a great discussion with your kid?  Read the series with him/her. Seriously one of my favourite series EVER! (jr/sr high)
  6. “Lumber Janes” graphic novel series by Noelle Stevenson, Grace Ellis and Shannon Waters and Brooke Allen.  A group of “kick-ass” girls who go to summer camp and fight supernatural creatures. LOVE the art, love the story with a diverse cast of characters.(elem/jr high)
  7. “Nimona” by Noelle Stevenson. a graphic novel that again possesses a VERY strong (and hilarious) character that can morph into other beings. So funny and sarcastic.(jr high)
  8. “Bridge of Clay” by Markus Zusak. A gaggle of rough and tumble brothers who have to raise themselves after their mother dies and their father abandons them. They beat each other up every chance they get but they also love each other beyond belief. (jr/sr high)
  9. “The Boy the Mouse the Fox and the Horse” by Charlie Mackesy. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Makes me cry everytime I read it. Short, sweet, and hugely profound. (ages 8-80)
  10. 142 Ostriches” by April Davila. Why are the ostriches dying? Truly a mystery. Tallulah has to deal with the unexpected death of her grandmother and successfully manage the ostrich farm she has thereby inherited. Things don’t go well. (sr high)
  11. “When We Were Vikings” by Andrew David MacDonald. A young woman who struggles developmentally is the narrator of this novel. She loves Vikings, in fact, she believes she is one! Can her warrior spirit help her navigate the world of adulthood especially when her only family is her brother and he has substance abuse issues. I LOVED this novel. More appropriate for high school students. (sr high)
  12. The Martian” by Andy Weir. I bought 6 copies for my classroom…they went missing right away. My 10th-grade boys LOVED this novel. I stayed up all night reading it (even though math was involved). My students say the book is better than the movie. (jr/sr high)
  13. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. Seriously, I shouldn’t have to tell you why this is a good one. (elementary/jr high)
  14. Creatures by Crissy Van Meter. The story about a failure of a father trying to convince his daughter (or himself) that they are fortunate to live and “adventure of being homeless and selling drugs for food because facing reality would be devastating. This daughter feels it is her duty to keep her father together long enough to see herself into adulthood.(sr high)
  15. Island by Johanna Skibsrud. Skibsrud’s reimagining of Joseph Conrad’s “Heart of Darkness” is a timely novel in the age of “us”  and “them” a mentality that seems exacerbated by the current political situation. This novel forces us to contemplate our role in the various structures that form our identity be it political, historical or societal. It reminds us that governments can be built on precarious scaffolds that strive more towards power than people. (sr high)
  16. The Water Cure by Sophie Mackintosh. When the outside world suddenly infringes upon your “haven” making you question the only life you’ve ever known, do you fight against it? Or do you let it consume you? Love this book. It would make for an amazing discussion. (sr high)
  17. Women Talking by Miriam Toews. This is an important book. This is a disturbing book. This is a book where the voices of women who can no longer be silenced by tradition and fear. Horrifyingly based on a true story, Miriam Toews tells a story of a group of Mennonite women, members of a traditional colony in Bolivia who are forced to meet in the hayloft of a barn and determine whether or not they will break from the colony, the only home they’ve ever known. (sr high)
  18. The Girl With All the Gifts” by M.R. Carey. “Zombie literature” at its best. A story about a gifted little girl who just happens to be “hungry”. Turns out, humans are more terrifying than the “hungries”. I had our High School librarian buy 6 copies for students. Like “Unwind” it is a novel that conjures some deep topics of discussion. (jr/sr high)
  19. “Far From the Madding Crowd” by Thomas Hardy. A good classic. (sr. high)
  20. The Southern Reach Trilogy” by Jeff Vandermeer. I taught “Annihilation” the first of this trilogy to my 10th grade English class. It was a tough read BUT students loved it. Environmental Dystopian Literature. (sr. high)
  21. “My Brilliant Friend” by Elena Ferrante. Easy enough to read but deep in theme especially regarding relationships” (sr. high)
  22. The Sparrow by Doria Russell. Science Fiction. Theological. Heartbreaking. Jesuits in space. Sounds intriguing, doesn’t it? (sr. high)
  23. The Unexpected Spy by Tracy Walder. Have you ever wanted to be a spy? Tracy Walder gives a first-person account of what it was like to work for the CIA during 911. It is more than just a story about tracking terrorists though, it is also a story of how she was treated as a woman in a patriarchal society, it is a reflection of her insecurities as an adolescent and how she learned to overcome them. Non-fiction. (jr/sr high)
  24. I am Afraid of Men Vivek Shraya (I’ve read this one. It is awesome but definitely for high school students. Deals with issues of gender identity, homophobia, bullying). (Sr high).
  25. Smoke by Dan Vyleta. When you sin your body emits smoke. Only the “dregs” of society (the poor and oppressed) smoke. Upper class goes through life without nary a stain on their pristine white collars. Themes of social class, discrimination. Dan Vyleta has come out with a second in the series called “Soot” (jr/sr high)
  26. Washington Black by Esi Edugyan. The story of a young boy, a slave from a sugar plantation in Barbados, who travels with his “master”, an adventurer and inventor, to the Arctic and then to Eastern Canada. Washington is a gifted artist who is asked to illustrate academic texts from the various eccentrics he meets. (sr. high)

Titles I haven’t read but were recommended by various educational/publishing sites: (be sure to read them before handing them out to the kiddos)

Turtles all the way Down  John Green

All The Bright Places  Jennifer Niven

Chicken Girl Heather Smith

Frankly in Love   David Yoon

Darius the Great is Not Ok Adib Khorram

Of Curses and Kisses Sandhya Menon

Chain of Gold Cassandra Clare 

We Are the Wildcats  Siobhan Vivian

Winterwood Shea Ernshaw

Don’t Call the Wolf Aleksandra Ross

The Grace Year Kim Liggett

Feed M. T. Anderson

Swim the fly Don Calame

For reluctant male readers

Random Tom Leeven

Trapped Michael Northrop

Long Way Down Jason Reynolds

Orbiting Jupiter  Gary Schmidt

Noggin John Corey Whaley

Dear Martin Nic Stone

Gym Candy Carl Deuker

Ghost Boy  Jewel Parker Rhodes

The Wilder Boys Brandon Wallace

 

The Paragon Hotel

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The Paragon Hotel was the selection for my February book club. I love Lyndsay Faye. It is always wonderful to find an author who not only writes a good suspenseful yarn but also a writer who has a delightful way with words.

Although the Paragon Hotel is a story filled with murder, robbery, and disguise, it is written using charming colloquialisms and vivid descriptions of the cultural milieu at the time. 

“The atmosphere pulses, cigar-dank and gritty. I can practically hear the rushed calls of next time, old sport, as the rats scattered. It’s identical to every other gin and faro joint in these United States of Nonsense with a single exception.

This is now my gin joint” (pg107).

The novel possesses two timelines. One that takes place in the present where Alice has found herself on a train heading for Portland after suffering a gunshot wound. She befriends a handsome porter and ends up at a hotel filled with an assortment of fascinating characters. The second storyline occurs in the past and consists of Alice’s life growing up in New York amidst another assortment of fascinating characters most of whom are members of the mafia.

I loved our narrator Alice aka Nobody. Although her life is riddled with more than just bullets she proves to be one of the most spectacular heroines in literature I’ve ever read. She is smart and brave, resourceful and cunning and incredibly good-natured considering her circumstances.

I want Alice as a friend. The pages where she and the character Blossom are sitting up in Blossom’s room drinking whiskey out of “cut glass tumblers” and discussing life are some of my favourites in the book. Their bantering is entertaining and reflective of a friendship we all wish we had.

 

Lindsay Faye is a guaranteed delightful read. She is an author who easily transports her readers into a land of story.

I Am Afraid of Men

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I’m Afraid of Men
Vivek Shraya
“The experience of repeatedly being stared at slowly mutated me into an alien” (pg 2)
I cannot express how profoundly important it is to read this book. It is a short, honest, heartwrenching read. The strength of spirit Vivek has built because of the lifetime of intimidation is noteworthy not only because she has survived, but also because she has immersed as a remarkable writer.
This book should be read in every high school. The issues presented in Vivek’s narrative need to be acknowledged and discussed in every classroom. Penguin Random House Canada does provide free teachers guide on its site.

The Unexpected Spy

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I was lucky enough to be sent an advanced copy of The Unexpected Spy through Macmillan and Netgalley. This is the true story of a young woman’s experience being recruited by the CIA right out of university and getting immersed into the world of searching for terrorist activity. She then makes a move to the FBI, and then ultimately and bravely makes the decision to become a high school History teacher.

Sadly, this is the first TRUE story I’ve read about a woman’s experience as a spy. Now, I know there are probably other memoirs out there and maybe it’s because I’ve had my head buried in historical fiction and murder mysteries that I’ve never come across them.

I so enjoyed this book. Maybe it was because I wanted to be a secret service agent when I was a kid. In seventh grade was the attempted assassination of President Regan. I was obsessed. I clipped all the newspaper articles of the assassin and kept them in a folder. I would read, and reread the contents of my folder, imagining myself in a dark suit and sunglasses shoving the President aside and taking down the assassin with one perfectly aimed gunshot, thus saving the day. Or maybe because Tracy, like me, is a high school teacher, and I too, find joy and fulfilment educating and inspiring young women.

Tracy’s journey was not an easy one. She is honest about the sexism and harassment that exits in both the CIA and the FBI. She is often patronized and treated with condescension with a constant pressure of having to prove herself. I appreciated how she paralleled childhood insecurities she possessed as a child with the experiences she was experiencing in their professional life. It is these parallels that make me strongly consider this as a welcome addition to any classroom library.

Walder’s story would serve as a strong non-fiction choice for literature circles. Walder’s book is well written, honest and indeed inspiring. High school is a time where young women need to be exposed to a plethora of examples of what they can do with their life outside of high school. I don’t believe “spy” is an option most women consider an option and how wonderful is it to know that you can choose to live a life of adventure saving the world from bad guys!

The Bridge of Clay

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The Bridge of Clay by Markus Zusak

“Us Dunbar boys.
From oldest to youngest:
Me, Rory, Henry, Clayton, Thomas.
We would never be the same…I should tell you what we were like:
Many considered us tearaways.
Barbarians.
Mostly they were right:
Our mother was dead
Our father had fled” (14-15).

I was afraid to read this novel. Zusak’s novel “The Book Thief” is one that is close to my heart. I have read thousands of books in my lifetime and “The Book Thief” is definitely on my top ten. I believed there was no way he could write anything better and if he did, and I read it, I’d be bitterly disappointed. But “The bridge of Clay” was this month’s book club pick, and seeing how I am the founding member I felt it my duty to read. So, 6 days before we met I set out to read 500+ pages of a book, I was very apprehensive about reading.
And I was disappointed ….
For the first 80 pages but then, I couldn’t help but become enchanted with the Dunbar family. It started slowly and at first, I was annoyed with Matthew’s (our narrator’s) storytelling. Matthew, it seemed to me, had no sense of direction, and I didn’t really understand his intentions. However, it was when Penelope’s story started that I became more invested in the story. Penelope is a woman who has a plethora of stories to tell. Her escape from Stalinist Austria ultimately led her to Australia. A journey numerous in tales. (one favourite of her sons being the size of the cockroaches she encountered in the refugee camp when she first arrived at her new country.
The Dunbar boys loved their mother. And after her death, it is Matthew that takes it upon himself to become the story tell in the family. The entire novel, therefore, is Matthew’s story of his family in which he plays particular homage to his brother Clay (you will understand whey Clay is the focus when you read the book).
The novel is beautifully written. As a reader, you have to be prepared to take the time to “sip” the prose. You cannot read it quickly or to do so you will miss subtle clues integral in understanding character motivation.
Zusak’s writes fiction as a poet. You have to be patient enough to wait for the accumulation of points of conflict to resolve themselves, often in ways that will break your heart.

The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy

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Every once in a while I find a treasure. Actually, I went seeking this treasure. I Googled “Best books of 2019”, and up popped The Boy, The Mole, the Fox and the Horse. I thought I’d find it in the children’s section, but bookstore had it shelved under “graphic novel”. Truthfully, there should be a section in bookstores called “books that will make you smile and believe the world is a good place”.
Written and illustrated by Charlie Mackesy this little book is simply filled with pages consisting of a charming conversation between a boy, a mole a fox and a horse each asking each other questions or making statements about life and responding with the most beautiful of replies.

The first page:
“‘I’m so small’ said the mole.”
“‘Yes,’ said the boy. ‘But you make a huge difference.’”

aaaaaand my eyes got leakier and leakier as I read on.
This book would make a beautiful graduation gift or birthday gift (for people big and small). But honestly, go by it for yourself, keep it on your bedside table and read it anytime your feeling sorry for yourself.